Quarantine Chronicles, we meet again, and you are looking tardy as ever. As the CEO of this nonsense, I hereby move the publishing of this newsletter to Tuesdays. Heretofore Monday’s seemed practical, but damn, I’m tired of your malarkey. In these uncertain times, it’s obviously *your* written word that’s the glue holding it all together. Your content is FIRE, but your readers are growing tired of these shenanigans. Witty and cute as you are, I must put a stop to this lollygagging.
Sorry about that folks, the regularly scheduled program will continue. Welcome to the third installment of her royal lateness, The Quarantine Chronicles. Happy reading xx
Breakthrough of the Week
The Almighty Cream Cheese Grilled Cheese
The greatest thing to happen since sliced bread? Cheese on bread. My Wisconsin is really showing but when genius strikes, the world must know. I introduce to you all, the foodgasm of all foodgasms: the cream cheese grilled cheese! Do that cheddar a favor and tuck her in with a hardy slab of cream cheese on either side and let the stovetop do the rest. Even if I was lactose intolerant, I’d literally put my ass on the line for this.
Cause of the Week
Center for American Indian Health
As always, Native Americans find themselves in a situation where they are both the most vulnerable and ignored. Glaring health and socioeconomic disparities have complicated the COVID-19 crisis for indigenous tribes across the United States. Relief funds from the government have yet to aid any assistance and multigenerational homes in crowded communities are desperate for resources. This is the time to use your privilege for good and demonstrate humanity to those in need.
click HERE to donate to emergency efforts
Ingestible Project of the Week
#LiquorPops
click here to upgrade that drank
Mask Inspo of the Week
Erin Robertson & Orville Peck
Blog of the Week
The Gourmet Graduate
This has sort of turned into a weekly hype session for my friends, but I wouldn’t have it any other way, they’re fucking cool I can’t help it! A culinary goddess and body positivity queen, my darling Zoe Jones has the SAUCE. Her eclectic recipes will take you around the world in your own home and are so delicious you forget how healthy they are. Good luck having the self control to let your phone eat first!
click HERE to salivate
Post-Lockdown-Dream-Outfits of the Week
When this is all over, the people will know what they have been missing! So long as dressing up for the day has been non-essential, my wardrobe is definitely starting to think they’ll never see the light of day. Just know, when even the most casual of social events are permitted, we’re about to be ranch DRESSING.
Accomplishment of the Week
I graduated from college and I’m done with school forever, haha. Below is real footage of me celebrating in my room alone after turning in my last assignment at 2am. Ending my 17 years of education on a random day in May hits different in quarantine no doubt. On the bright side, on June 6th at 3pm ET, Michelle and Barack Obama are hosting a Class of 2020 graduation ceremony on YouTube. At least it’s not all downhill from here?
I love clowning with you guys, thank you to everyone for the sweet notes and videos of things you’ve done from the lists! I cherish every one of them and my motivation thanks you for the revival. All love!!
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